WHAT WEIRD
WHATS GOING
ON
I DONT KNOW
IM PRETTY TIRED OF WORDS AND JOKES AND EVEN PICTURES SOMETIMES I KIND OF JUST WANT TO BE IN A LA-Z BOY AT MY PARENTS HOUSE WATCHING HBO IN MY BOXERS BUT HERES SOME WORDS ANYWAYS AND ALSO A COUPLE PICTURES THAT ARENT THAT INTERESTING OR NECESSARILY RELATED DIRECTLY TO ACCOMPANYING TEXT.

LATELY????? LAPLANDED.





APPARENTLY I'M A "TOUR PHOTOGRAPHER" SOMETIMES. SO I WENT ON A TOUR WITH A BAND OF POETS AND PHOTOGRAPHED AS MUCH OF THE TOUR AS I COULD TAKE. UNFORTUNATELY, I EVENTUALLY FUCKED UP MY NECK DOING WHO KNOWS WHAT AND LEFT THE TOUR A COUPLE DAYS EARLY BY TRAIN TO TRY AND MAKE IT SO I COULD LEARN TO TURN MY HEAD AGAIN AND ALSO FIND PAINKILLERS.
I KNOW YOURE PROBABLY WONDERING WHERE THE GOOD PHOTOS ARE.
IN A DRAWER IN MY ROOM WAITING TO BE PROCESSED AND PRINTED. I TOOK A COUPLE RANDOM PHOTOS ON MY DIGITAL CAMERA JUST TO SHOW THE FOLKS BACK HOME... NOTHING SPECIAL.

WHAT ELSE? IT'S REALLY HARD TO DESCRIBE THE STRANGE IMPORTANT INSANE PERFECT MOMENTS OF 7 DAYS BUT THE GIST OF IT....

- NOCTURNAL EMISSIONS by OLD RUSSIAN-VEPS MAN IN SWEDISH YOUTH HOSTEL NEXT TO ME. THERES NOTHING LIKE LOOKING ACROSS THE ROOM AND SEEING A 60 YEAR OLD MAN JUST SHAMELESSLY GOING AT IT WITH HIS HAND UNDER THE COVERS WHILE WATCHING AN EPISODE OF FRIENDS OR SOMETHING ON SWEDISH TV LIKE IT AIN'T NO THING. CREEP OUT? YEAH I GUESS. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY ABOUT IT THEN AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY ABOUT IT NOW.

- SPENDING 7 DAYS IN A VAN IN THE ARCTIC CIRCLE THAT HAS SEEN MUCH BETTER DAYS (LIKE BACK WHEN IT WAS NEW IN 1981) WITH 6 DRUNK POETS FROM RUSSIA, KARELIA, AND FINLAND

- ALMOST DYING IN SAID VAN ON ICY HIGHWAY (KEEPING OUR COLLECTIVE MENTAL FINGERS CROSSED, WE AVOIDED SOME KIND OF INJURY OR DEATH AND EVENTUALLY THE TOUR MANAGER/DRIVER REGAINED CONTROL AND EXTENDED MY LIFE)

- GETTING HARASSED BY A SAMI WOMAN WHO INITIALLY TOLD ME I LOOKED FOOLISH BECAUSE I WAS SO ILL-DRESSED FOR THE WEATHER. AFTER FINDING OUT, HOWEVER, THAT I WAS FROM CALIFORNIA AND EXPLAINING THAT I DIDNT REALIZE IT WOULD BE -40 FAHRENHEIT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY, SHE WAS ABLE TO SYMPATHIZE AND RODE HER SLED HOME (NO JOKE) TO GET ME A PAIR OF WOOLEN SOCKS THAT SHE HAD JUST FINISHED FOR HER SON BUT FELT THAT I NEEDED MORE.
ONE OF THE NICEST THINGS A COMPLETE STRANGER HAS EVER DONE FOR ME. BIG UP SAMI LADY.

- MORE NOCTURNAL EMISSIONS (THIS TIME FROM GOD). FINALLY SAW THEM NORTHERN LIGHTS. I HOPE EVERYBODY I KNOW AND LIKE HAS THE OPPORTUNITY TO SEE THEM AT SOME POINT IN THEIR LIVES. WE WERE LITERALLY DRIVING THROUGHOUT THE ARCTIC, HEADIN NORTH, POUNDING MORE VODKA PER USUAL AFTER THE SHOW, TRYING TO GET TO OUR CABIN AND RIGHT AS WE CAME OVER A RIDGE THESE INSANELY BEAUTIFUL SILVER LIGHTS WERE BLASTING ACROSS THE SKY. I DON'T KNOW GOD BUT I DEFINITELY FELT THE POWERFUL PRESENCE OF SOMETHING (WHETHER IT WAS VODKA OR REINDEER MEAT INDIGESTION OR THE COLLECTIVE POWER OF MOTHER NATURE AND THE UNIVERSE I CANNOT SAY)

- AND THE SAUNA. MORE SAUNA. AND WITH OTHER PEOPLE. ITS NOT AS AWKWARD AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE HANGING OUT NAKED WITH A BUNCH OF OLD RUSSIAN AND FINNISH DUDES IN A STEAMY HOT ROOM. IT'S ACTUALLY KIND OF DISARMING IN A GOOD WAY.


PRETTY MUCH THIS TRIP WAS REALLY INCREDIBLE. WHO CAN SAY THEY SAW THE NORTHERN LIGHTS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ARCTIC CIRCLE WITH A BUNCH OF SLURRED RUSSIAN POETS? TURNS OUT ITS ALSO ONE OF THOSE THINGS YOU DONT BOTHER TAKING PICTURES OF BECAUSE ITS TOO GOOD TO INTERRUPT WITH CLICKING AND FLASHES. NO REGRETS THERE.













(DRAMATIC REENACTMENT OF NORTHERN LIGHTS IN MUSEUM OF LAPLAND)












HEY ALSO,
JUST A WORD TO THE WISE.
IF YOU'RE EVER REALLY BROKE AND YOU JUST HAVE 85 USD FOR TWO WEEKS (NOT EVEN ENOUGH TO BIGGIE SIZE MY SHIT AT MCDONALDS LET ALONE BUY AN ENTIRE MEAL IN EUROPE) AND YOU FIND SOME REALLY SUSPICIOUS MEAT FROM AN ANONYMOUS ANIMAL FOR REALLY CHEAP AT THE STORE AND YOU THINK "WELL, THERE'S TWICE THE AMOUNT OF MEAT HERE FOR THE SAME PRICE AND IT LOOKS JUST LIKE THE OTHER MEAT" THEN THINK TWICE.
CHANCES ARE, THE SUSPECT MEAT WILL MAKE YOU SICK (LIKE, "WHAT END OF MY BODY AM I GOING TO BARF FROM THIS TIME" KIND OF SICK) FOR A COUPLE DAYS AND AFTER THE CURRENCY CONVERSION YOU'LL BE OUT OF A GOOD BIT OF MONEY AND ABOUT 48 HOURS OF LIFE.

SO UNLESS YOURE LOOKING FOR A CHEAP COLON-CLEANSE, SPEND THE EXTRA EURO'S FOR HALF THE AMOUNT OF NORMAL MEAT. IT WILL TASTE BETTER AND IT WON'T VANDALIZE THE INSIDE OF YOUR BODY.

AND LASTLY,
SHOUT OUTS GO TO HOMIES PAUL, ROGER, AND FORMER BOSS STEFAN
AFTER THIS INCREDIBLE TRIP THAT WAS MORE LIFE-AFFIRMING THEN "FOREST GUMP" AND "THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION" PUT TOGETHER BUT WHICH LEFT ME TOTALLY TERRI-SCHIAVO'D --- I CAME HOME TO A BOX THAT TURNED OUT TO BE THE BEST CARE PACKAGE OF A LIFETIME. THERE'S NOTHING MORE LIFE-AFFIRMING THEN HAVING A BUNCH OF BUDDIES SEND YOU SWEDISH MONEY FOR DRINKS BECAUSE YOUR BURGEONING ALCOHOL PROBLEM, SHEET FILM BECAUSE YOU ARENT IN A PLACE THAT YOU CAN BUY IT FOR YOURSELF RIGHT NOW AND THEY DONT WANT YOU TO QUIT TAKING PHOTOGRAPHS, and A BOOK FOR INSPIRATION.......










WHICH CAN AND SHOULD BE ORDERED AS PART OF A SUBSCRIPTION SERIES HERE: TBWBOOKS.COM

TBWBOOKS.COM
TBWBOOKS.COM
TBWBOOKS.COM
TBWBOOKS.COM


WHAT A DEAL.
SOME PHOTOS FROM TODD HIDO'S... HE'S THE FIRST BOOK IN THE SERIES. TO BE HONEST, I USED TO REALLY LIKE TODD HIDO. AND THEN I RESENTED HIS SUCCESS FOR A MINUTE (IM A HORRIBLE PERSON LIKE THAT). AND NOW I STILL LIKE HIM ALRIGHT... BUT KIND OF GOT TIRED OF THE SAME-OLD FROM THE DUDE.
THEN I READ ABOUT THIS BOOK BEFORE IT CAME OUT AND DECIDED I HATED IT WITHOUT EVEN SEEING IT. THEN OPENED IT UP AND THOUGHT THAT IN SOME WEIRD WAY IT MADE COMPLETE SENSE AND MY FAITH WAS RESTORED IN THE MAN. THE OTHER GREAT THING IS THAT IT IS WHAT IT IS. A WEIRD, BEAUTIFUL, CREEPY SUPPLEMENTARY KIND OF "ZINE-BOOK" BY AN AGING PERVERT WITH SOME INTENSE OEDIPAL "MOMMY I LOVE YOU MORE THEN JUST AS A SON" SHIT GOING ON THAT IS MEANT FOR ONLY 750 PEOPLES EYES.

PAUL IS DEFINITELY DOING THE OLD-FASHIONED ARTIST BOOK THE RIGHT WAY AND I'VE GOT THE LOWDOWN ON THE NEXT COUPLE OF SERIES' AND THEY'RE GETTING BETTER AND MORE CHALLENGING (THAT'S A REALLY OBNOXIOUS WORD TO USE) AND SMART AND INCLUDING PEOPLE I REALLY LIKE A LOT. CAN'T WAIT FOR THOSE.
KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
DO YOU GET IT?



AND WHILE I'M ON THE SUBJECT OF THINGS I LIKE MADE BY PEOPLE I KNOW....
LA BUDDY KAHLIL JUST RELEASED HIS FIRST SHORT FILM. FIRST SHORT FILM? AND ITS THIS GOOD? EVERYONE SHOULD BE SO TALENTED AND LUCKY. NUTS.
CLICKCLICKCLICKCLCICKCLICCKCLCICKCLCICLCCCCLICK HERE

I TOOK A BUNCH OF PHOTOS OF PAULS MOST RECENT BOOK WHICH ACCOMPANIED HIS EXHIBITION AT STEPHEN WIRTZ BUT I THINK ITS SOLD OUT AND I ALSO CANT FIND THE PHOTOS ANYMORE.
TAKE MY WORD FOR IT THOUGH, IT WAS GOOD.

ENOUGH OF THE MAN LOVE. I NEED TO GET BACK TO WRITING MORE RUN ON SENTENCES IN THE FORM OF REALLY ABSTRACT PROPOSALS FOR GRANTS THAT WILL HOPEFULLY GET ME FINANCIAL RECOMPENSE FOR BEING AN IRRESPONSIBLE "ARTIST" AT THE WORST POSSIBLE TIME TO BE JUST THAT





PEACE.
TAKE CARE.